5 Signs You Have A Fear Of Failure
It’s important to be able to recognize if you have a fear of failure.
If you don’t know it’s what’s holding you back in life, how can you find it in yourself to overcome it?
You may think you don’t have a fear of failure, but maybe you’re just masking it with one of these excuses below?
These are all things I use to say to myself and eventually I had to tell myself, out loud, these aren’t real reasons.
They’re excuses to not try.
“Excuses will always be there for you, opportunity won’t.”
I was just scared to fail. Scared to not live up. I would say all of the following:
1. You keep saying the timing isn’t perfect
You’re using the phrase “perfect timing” as an excuse to not try…Because we all know there will never be the perfect time to do anything.
Never a perfect time to have a kid, start a business, go back to school, etc.
Sometimes you need to just make a plan, trust in that plan, close your eyes and just jump.
“Do not wait: the time will never be ‘just right’. Start where you stand, and work whatever tools you may have at your command and better tools will be found as you go along.”
― Napoleon Hill
I have an entire post about waiting for perfection you can read here.
2. You tell yourself you don’t have the experience or skills
We all feel inadequate when we decide to start something new.
That’s why it’s so import to remember that no-one is born with the skills or experience to do anything. We aren’t born playing Beethoven or running marathons. We aren’t born knowing calculus or running big businesses.
You may not have the skills now, but you can go get them!
All we can do is figure out our preferred destination, and reverse engineer to find the steps you need to take to get there.
We need to put ourselves in situations to learn more. And from there, fake it till you make it!
On the other hand, there is probably a good chance that you are qualified to do whatever it is that you want to do, but the feeling of inadequacy is holding you back from going for it.
You’re selling yourself short.
I think is true for most people but according to this Forbes article, a few years ago, when Hewlett-Packard wanted to see why more women weren’t in top management positions they made an interesting discovery:
“Women working at HP applied for a promotion only when they believed they met 100 percent of the qualifications listed for the job. Men were happy to apply when they thought they could meet 60 percent of the job requirements.”
I know for me, this is absolutely true.
My advice: women need to have more faith in themselves.
3. You tell yourself you don’t have the time
If there is one thing I do know, it’s that you will make time for the things you want the most.
What time do you wake up in the morning? Could you get up an hour earlier to dedicate time to whatever it is you’re wanting to accomplish?
How much Netflix do you binge watch? Any shows you can cut out to make time for that goal of yours?
Stay up late, wake up early, work when the kids are sleeping, skip a girls night.
We all have the same hours in the day. Whatever it is, you have the time. You’re just not making the time.
4. You tell yourself you don’t have the money
I think we all can acknowledge the fact that we aren’t all born on the same playing field.
No matter what, someone is going to have a better shot than you and visa versa, you’re going to have an upper hand on someone else.
Financially and educationally.
But that can never be an excuse to not do or accomplish what you want to accomplish.
Some people can pay cash and some people have to take out loans to achieve their goals.
Shit, some people even join “The worlds greatest Air Force” to get to where they want to go.
You may not see the money in your bank account, however there are so many resources out there that can help you achieve what you want to achieve.
- Scholarships (If school related)
- Work two jobs
- Find a side hustle
- FASFA (If school related)
5. You worry about disappointing others or embarrassing yourself
What if I spend money to go to school, fail my classes and disappoint my mom or husband or friends?…I won’t even try.
What if I ask for the promotion and I don’t get it? That will be embarrassing…I wont even try.
What if I get the promotion and I don’t live up to expectations?…I won’t even try.
Guys, we can all play the “what if” game all day long. But if you don’t believe in yourself no-one will.
Have some faith, have some confidence and trust in yourself that you will live up to the expectations you have for yourself. No-one else’s opinion matters.
If you never try, the person you will be disappointing the most is yourself!
What are you really scared of?
We all have a fear of failure.
But the important thing is to not let that fear of failure keep you from trying. Looking at the big picture, failure is not this big bad thing we all think it is. Failure is your only way forward.
If you aren’t failing often, you likely aren’t trying hard enough. You aren’t taking enough risks.
Failure is just another way of gathering information. It’s life’s way of telling you “Hey man that doesn’t work, don’t do that again”.
And sometimes what you feel like is failure, will end up taking you on some of the most beautiful journeys of your life.
But let me ask you this.
What if this failure you are trying so hard to avoid, works out.
What if it all goes right?
We all know the quote, “You lose 100% of the games you don’t play”.
There is someone doing what you want to do right now. And they didn’t have it all laid out in front of them.
They wanted it bad enough, and made it happen. They played the game.
I truly believe that you can make anything a reality. And if you give it your best shot, your honest to goodness best shot, and you don’t get it, take that lesson and try try again.
No more excuses. There’s only now!
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.