So I am sitting here with this beautiful red book in front of me by Rachel Hollis Called, “Girl Stop Apologizing.”
You may recognize her name from the 2018 best selling book, “Girl Wash Your Face.”
I have been really itching to get more into personal development / self help books lately. Rachel’s name as well as an extremely popular book, “Girl Wash Your Face” popped up a few months ago. Which prompted me to do some googling before I purchased the book.
Just like most, I think I give a little too much power to reviews and after reading a few negative reviews on Amazon, I decided to pass on the book.
Fast forward to last week I was in Wal-Mart and I saw this gorgeous red cover and I instantly gravitated to it.
It was called “Girl Stop Apologizing”.
I instantly felt a connection with this book because, I do this a lot. I even had a boss once that told me a few times, “stop, saying, sorry.”
And I really don’t know where it came from? But I say “sorry” for the dumbest shit. It’s almost a reflex.
Anytime I feel like I am inconveniencing anyone else, whether it’s a negative or a positive for me, I tack on an, “I’m sorry”.
Heres a great example…
Recently I asked Tom if he would put Isaac to bed (I usually do it every night), I was extremely exhausted and just wanted one night where I didn’t have to do it.
And of course, I followed my question up with, “I’m sorry”.
I almost immediately noticed I had apologized for asking the father of our son to put him to bed as if it’s only my responsibility and should feel sorry.
(P.S. He doesn’t mind doing it, I’ve just naturally taken the lead on it. lol)
He doesn’t tell me “sorry” when I take 30min to put him to bed every night. Lol
I wasn’t sorry. Why did I say it?
I think our girl brains just link apologies with the concept of being polite.
Okay, now back to Wal-Mart…
Again, I went on Amazon to see how much they were selling it for and to read the reviews and of course, the negative reviews were the ones that made me put it down.
Unfortunate, I know.
Now, if those weren’t enough signs telling me I was going to read her book one day, here is another.
I watch Ellen DeGeneres on YouTube a lot and for some reason, when that video ended, immediately popped up a video of Rachel Hollis being interviewed by Tom Bilyeu. If you haven’t seen this interview or heard her speak before, you need to watch it.
It’s eye opening and is what ultimately led me to want this book.
On YouTube it’s called “I Don’t Care What You Think Of Me For Having a Dream.” But mainly she was giving this interview to promote her latest book, “Girl Stop Apologizing.” I also quickly realized that this books wasn’t just about how much we women apologize verbally, but for how we apologize for who we are and who we want to be.
I listened to this entire interview while driving and ended up taking a detour to my nearest Target to buy this book.
Finally, I am choosing to read this book and decide for myself on whether or not I like it. Lol
I have never heard someone speak every thought that has crossed my mind like her. Fearlessly at that. Without care of how someone could spin it.
I really wish every woman, wife, and mother I know would just listen to that interview.
What’s In The Interview?
She talks about being more than a mother, and not feeling guilty for that.
Rachel speaks on what I think a lot of us women do and that is that, “We work on our dreams in the dark so we don’t inconvenience others.”
Sometimes we even put them off completely so we don’t inconvenience others.
I am guilty of that. I have neglected some of the things I love doing most and haven’t even started others because I feel like the “right” thing to do is to give my time to other people and other things.
Supporting other people and what they want to do.
And you know, men don’t do that? They don’t think twice about other people when it comes to their dreams. When there is something they want to do they typically just do it, am I right?
Now I am not man shaming and none of this is their fault.
A lot of these limitations we are putting on ourselves.
A lot of us don’t have enough confidence in ourselves to pursue what we really want.
And a lot of these habits are brought by other women in society as well as what the women before us did and didn’t do.
But honestly, men are just naturally a little more selfish than women and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Women need to start caring more about ourselves and our lives and dreams.
Of course not at the detriment to our families but, I think we can all agree that we are expected by the world to drop everything and raise your family. “It’s gotta be all about the babies.”
And that’s just not how it has to be. Because at the end of the day, if you aren’t happy, thats on you. ( Ugh I could rant about that all day lol)…
She talked about how since we were kids we have been taught to ask for permission, and that we are all still waiting for someone to give us permission to go for our dreams.
THIS really rang a bell for me on a smaller scale and just proved to me that I am the women she is talking about.
I am the one that is still waiting on other people to tell me what to do.
And it just poses the bigger question, “In what other parts of my life am I doing that?”
After listening to Rachel speak I realized that I have been doing that in all parts of my life, and on the biggest scale, my dreams.
I’m typically waiting on someone to tell me, “okay, you can do it, go!”
Why do I need someone else’s encouragement to do the things I want?
Why do I need someone else’s validation and them saying, “No that isn’t a stupid idea” to make me get off my ass.
Do I just feel like I wont be good enough at it?
Or do I not want to inconvenience them by taking time or money from my family?
Because lets be real, everything we want costs money. Our dreams almost always involve investing some monetary value.
And it’s so easy to take the things we want the most and just say, “It’s not that important”, “It can wait”, “One day it’ll be a better time to spend the money and take the extra time.”
I don’t know what precious information “Girl stop apologizing” holds but I am excited to read it. Especially since it’s someone who I know once thought like me. From someone that has the same, “people pleasing” nature.
So if your’e like me, and a recovering people pleaser…
Or a, care about everyone before yourself person.
Or even a dreamer but are too busy encouraging and lifting everyone else up but yourself type of person.
I have a strong feeling this book could be for us.
I really want to start reading more books so in an attempt to accomplish that, I’m going to start sharing on my blog what I am currently reading. If you like to read then I encourage you to follow along!
Almost like a little book club! 🙂 You can find her book in a lot of stores but below is a link to her website that you can purchase it from as well!
I’ll give an update on my thoughts on this book after reading it, maybe even as I read it. But I am excited to get started!
If you have read this book already, leave a comment below telling me your biggest take away from it!
I’m SO excited!!!!