“Remember, sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”
We all have that one thing..maybe even two things, that sticks out to us when we think of the best thing that never happened to us. Those things that, you wanted SO badly you would have done anything for, only to look back and think, “holy shit…thank god that didn’t work out.”
Whether it be that job that you fought so hard for and never got, a relationship with someone you thought you couldn’t live without, being young and wishing your parents would get back together (LOL at that one), etc. It is so hard for us in those moments to accept those “failures” or disappointments and move the hell on.
Yesterday I was watching a show called, “The Real” (yes I know that show is cheesy and all they do is cry on there lol) and they asked each other what the best thing that never happened to them was. Which prompted me to ask myself that very question. Instantly, I thought of two of the biggest things that I know made my life take a complete 180.
Obviously for most of us, and I’m no exception, it was that one relationship. I mean, people have the biggest control and influence on our lives. When you’re in a relationship and you plan your future, you don’t just think of yourself, but the other person as well.
But, we all know why that was a good thing, I wouldn’t have the relationship with Tom or have my son today if that didn’t end.
But the biggest letdown and life-changing thing for me was not getting to attend the college I had planned on. After high school, I was determined to go to a college called Embry Riddle in Arizona. I had planned on getting a degree in Aeronautical Science and getting my Rotary Wing rating (AKA learn to fly helicopters). I got accepted into the school, flew there to registered for my courses, got some scholarships, and thought I was well on my way. I was SO set on this decision, I was packed up, and even bought all sorts of dorm room crap. I had no backup plan. Not a freaking thing…I was a hard-headed little shit.
A few months before school started, my funding fell through and I couldn’t attend.
I remember feeling so lost and disappointed. Not knowing what I was going to do with my life. After all, this was EVERYTHING and the only thing I had planned on doing. And I am the type of person that needs to know, now, what my future holds. At least my near future.
It also didn’t help that I was going through a lot of tough things in my personal life, so at this point, I just needed to get away. Far away.
Out of frustration, defiance, and sheer anxiety, I joined the Air Force. Which, I had toyed with the idea before but it definitely wasn’t my plan.
But, as most ginormous changes, joining the Air Force ended up being the best decision I think I could have ever made for myself. I got to live and travel all over Japan, I am not $150,000 in debt like I would have been, I have VA loans available to me, etc.
On top of that, I met a man who honestly healed my heart when I didn’t think anyone ever could.
I’d like to think, “everything happens for a reason” and “blessings in disguise”, but then my realistic side comes out and asks, “is it even really a blessing?”
Because you know, I really wobble the line of thinking, “Adriana, everything does happen for a reason”, then I think naaahhhh, I am just really good at growing some roses out of the shit I had been dealt.
But that is something we will never know.
Whether there is some master plan for all of us or if we just naturally learn how to keep pushing through and evolve.
Truth is, everything will seem like it is the best thing that never happened when you know how to move the hell on, and play the game with the hand you’ve been dealt.
But that’s how you get through life, no matter what way you look at it, the way to move past the unexpected bumps in the road, is to not let yourself feel like a victim. You should never let yourself think your circumstances dictate your future. It’s all about how you react, where do you go from there? How long do you allow yourself to just sit and cry about it? It’s about picking up the pieces and keep moving forward.
Do that, and you will always feel solace in the things that never happened.
What was the best thing that never happened to you? Leave it in the comments!
– It’s Adriana